I'm back part II
Top Bad things about Korea:
1. People (mostly men) let gobs of spit out at any time or place. They don’t spit, they let it fall out of their mouths.
2. The girls dress like whores, think like nuns.
3. The speaking style is to whine when emphasizing a point. So you get grown men yelling and moaning like bratty children at the dinner table. Similarly, when women want something from their boyfriends, they often put on a pouty face and literally squeal like 5 year olds. Not charming after the first time seeing it.
4. People don’t let you finish your point when you’re asking for advice or help. They let you start the idea then come up with an answer for the beginning of the problem (cutting you off), and don’t get to here what the question/problem is. I’m constantly saying: okay, but that’s not the problem…
5. Smoking is rampant with men, so you get drawn in or bombarded with smoke.
6. People constantly stare at you as you walk/shop/do anything.
7. The people in this world’s 3rd biggest Agglomeration basically act like county folk might: They don’t want to try speaking in English or Korean with you, they laugh at random things you say whether in English or Korean, they stare/watch you while you do ANYTHING.* People take their shoes off at bars and put their feet on the seats of chairs (nasty). Actually, they sit anywhere (cross-legged) with bare feet (my bed for a terrible example).
8. Guys who seem quite timid when they first arrive at a bar will eventually get fucked up drunk and come sit with you and try to talk with you in shit-ass English. Since they know 5 things in English they run out of stuff to talk about quickly and just sit there. (that sounds mean, but when is the last time you went to sit with a table of… [pick a language] guys and loudly and drunkenly started yelling kindergarten questions at them?)
9. The girls are very, very pretty, but they are 1) scared of guys, 2) scared of foreign guys, 3) mega shy, 4) terrible at English and not willing to try anyways, 5) trouble, as if you walk with one, your interestingness as a foreigner skyrockets, and even more people watch you.
10. People don’t seem to know much about anything that is not in their immediate sphere of interactions. Especially true with directions, every person who can afford one has a GPS system in their car. People even download them to their cell phones and use them while driving.
11. The roads are either not named or the names are not known. This is really true, I think like 5 road names are known (the center of city-tourist area). If you want to meet somebody you have to go by landmarks (seriously! 3rd biggest city in the world!), most commonly subway stations and exit number (necessary as the stations are huge and exits could be easily not visible from each other). That is why:
12. Meeting someone here makes having a cell phone necessary. The process involves getting a general area, then calling and honing in bit by bit, call by call, till meeting. Imagine trying to meet somebody who’s already at a given place where there are no street names and everything that’s not a local restaurant is something that is found everywhere anyways (ex corner store, bank) so not great as a landmark. People walk out to the main street to pick up people all the time.
13. Funny one. In a standard conversation: you ask a question and people stop moving and talking. They just sit there… for like a minute. You find out after that they were thinking about the answer. Funnier: you get used to this un-announced pausing, so sometimes you’ll ask a question and do your standard waiting. Only to find out later that the question or comment didn’t register and the person has only been sitting silently!!!!! Oh the joy!!
14. Drink portion size is tiny at 175ish per can/bottle. (not important, but irritating if you want more than a gulp and less than 2 liters.)
15. Bad feelings towards foreigners (especially Japan and the USA) is palpable, and often spoken. I’ve been asked twice whether I’m a fake English teacher (by strangers). Told once that I should go home (that one was unclear – whether I should leave the neighborhood I was in, or go back to my home country).
16. Where you plum? Is a question that can be asked of any foreigner at any time by anyone. It is the origin of my Country people analogy. (‘Where you from bo-ah?’)
17. People are constantly asking other people for input if you ask a question. Not clear whether a lot of people don’t know the answers to general (basic) questions, or, want input on whether their answer is correct/acceptable, or, want help in wording the answer in English. It is a constant and troubling situation.
18. As a teacher, especially infuriating is this: when asked a question children may look at the teacher’s eyes and either stay looking, or look away, and sit silently. And sit. So you wait, and wait, and the child might, if left to continue, never speak again. I’m talking 30 seconds, a minute, more! If I’m feeling extra playful, I may just stand and wait… I’ve gotten to at least a minute, maybe two. I can only guess that silence is a cultural way of saying that you don’t know. It seems as though many children don’t have the concept of ‘I don’t know’ or at least of saying it. Maybe silence when faced with more powerful is an appropriate position to take here?
* In regards to (number 7) why they don’t want to speak with you: maybe they are embarrassed by their bad English (doesn’t matter how empathetic you are – not your issue) and/or they take each time speaking English as a major emergency. Maybe the social order is more uptight and should go smoothly in some way. I’ve had people RUN away leaving only the braver workers to face the foreigner (true story – happens often if you go to stores). In korean, though you may attempt, you will most likely either 1) say something incorrectly, or not close enough to fit into the person’s accepted range of word variation (a major problem with mono-cultures, saw it in Mexico too. Here it is a constant that people are asking for others to repeat themselves.), OR, 2) the person will not expect the Korean word to be coming out of your mouth and you’ll have to repeat yourself many times. Often, if you do say something that locals understand, you will either 1) say it with a ‘cute’ accent and people will laugh, or, 2) you’ll say it fine, but you spoke Korean so people will laugh. It’s a good environment to come into terms with the idea that people’s problems/hang-ups are their own and don’t have to be your issue.
Here is the link I promised for the pics from my (and my friend Gisella's) recent trip through Korea. Starting in Suwon, then DaeJeon, then Busan - then back.
http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=19506&l=1fde2&id=642731186
ps. I tried to be as fair as I could with the goods and bads. There are more bads (was aiming for 10), but they aren't as heavy as the goods. All told they about even eachother out. This is a fun place to spend a year or so...
1. People (mostly men) let gobs of spit out at any time or place. They don’t spit, they let it fall out of their mouths.
2. The girls dress like whores, think like nuns.
3. The speaking style is to whine when emphasizing a point. So you get grown men yelling and moaning like bratty children at the dinner table. Similarly, when women want something from their boyfriends, they often put on a pouty face and literally squeal like 5 year olds. Not charming after the first time seeing it.
4. People don’t let you finish your point when you’re asking for advice or help. They let you start the idea then come up with an answer for the beginning of the problem (cutting you off), and don’t get to here what the question/problem is. I’m constantly saying: okay, but that’s not the problem…
5. Smoking is rampant with men, so you get drawn in or bombarded with smoke.
6. People constantly stare at you as you walk/shop/do anything.
7. The people in this world’s 3rd biggest Agglomeration basically act like county folk might: They don’t want to try speaking in English or Korean with you, they laugh at random things you say whether in English or Korean, they stare/watch you while you do ANYTHING.* People take their shoes off at bars and put their feet on the seats of chairs (nasty). Actually, they sit anywhere (cross-legged) with bare feet (my bed for a terrible example).
8. Guys who seem quite timid when they first arrive at a bar will eventually get fucked up drunk and come sit with you and try to talk with you in shit-ass English. Since they know 5 things in English they run out of stuff to talk about quickly and just sit there. (that sounds mean, but when is the last time you went to sit with a table of… [pick a language] guys and loudly and drunkenly started yelling kindergarten questions at them?)
9. The girls are very, very pretty, but they are 1) scared of guys, 2) scared of foreign guys, 3) mega shy, 4) terrible at English and not willing to try anyways, 5) trouble, as if you walk with one, your interestingness as a foreigner skyrockets, and even more people watch you.
10. People don’t seem to know much about anything that is not in their immediate sphere of interactions. Especially true with directions, every person who can afford one has a GPS system in their car. People even download them to their cell phones and use them while driving.
11. The roads are either not named or the names are not known. This is really true, I think like 5 road names are known (the center of city-tourist area). If you want to meet somebody you have to go by landmarks (seriously! 3rd biggest city in the world!), most commonly subway stations and exit number (necessary as the stations are huge and exits could be easily not visible from each other). That is why:
12. Meeting someone here makes having a cell phone necessary. The process involves getting a general area, then calling and honing in bit by bit, call by call, till meeting. Imagine trying to meet somebody who’s already at a given place where there are no street names and everything that’s not a local restaurant is something that is found everywhere anyways (ex corner store, bank) so not great as a landmark. People walk out to the main street to pick up people all the time.
13. Funny one. In a standard conversation: you ask a question and people stop moving and talking. They just sit there… for like a minute. You find out after that they were thinking about the answer. Funnier: you get used to this un-announced pausing, so sometimes you’ll ask a question and do your standard waiting. Only to find out later that the question or comment didn’t register and the person has only been sitting silently!!!!! Oh the joy!!
14. Drink portion size is tiny at 175ish per can/bottle. (not important, but irritating if you want more than a gulp and less than 2 liters.)
15. Bad feelings towards foreigners (especially Japan and the USA) is palpable, and often spoken. I’ve been asked twice whether I’m a fake English teacher (by strangers). Told once that I should go home (that one was unclear – whether I should leave the neighborhood I was in, or go back to my home country).
16. Where you plum? Is a question that can be asked of any foreigner at any time by anyone. It is the origin of my Country people analogy. (‘Where you from bo-ah?’)
17. People are constantly asking other people for input if you ask a question. Not clear whether a lot of people don’t know the answers to general (basic) questions, or, want input on whether their answer is correct/acceptable, or, want help in wording the answer in English. It is a constant and troubling situation.
18. As a teacher, especially infuriating is this: when asked a question children may look at the teacher’s eyes and either stay looking, or look away, and sit silently. And sit. So you wait, and wait, and the child might, if left to continue, never speak again. I’m talking 30 seconds, a minute, more! If I’m feeling extra playful, I may just stand and wait… I’ve gotten to at least a minute, maybe two. I can only guess that silence is a cultural way of saying that you don’t know. It seems as though many children don’t have the concept of ‘I don’t know’ or at least of saying it. Maybe silence when faced with more powerful is an appropriate position to take here?
* In regards to (number 7) why they don’t want to speak with you: maybe they are embarrassed by their bad English (doesn’t matter how empathetic you are – not your issue) and/or they take each time speaking English as a major emergency. Maybe the social order is more uptight and should go smoothly in some way. I’ve had people RUN away leaving only the braver workers to face the foreigner (true story – happens often if you go to stores). In korean, though you may attempt, you will most likely either 1) say something incorrectly, or not close enough to fit into the person’s accepted range of word variation (a major problem with mono-cultures, saw it in Mexico too. Here it is a constant that people are asking for others to repeat themselves.), OR, 2) the person will not expect the Korean word to be coming out of your mouth and you’ll have to repeat yourself many times. Often, if you do say something that locals understand, you will either 1) say it with a ‘cute’ accent and people will laugh, or, 2) you’ll say it fine, but you spoke Korean so people will laugh. It’s a good environment to come into terms with the idea that people’s problems/hang-ups are their own and don’t have to be your issue.
Here is the link I promised for the pics from my (and my friend Gisella's) recent trip through Korea. Starting in Suwon, then DaeJeon, then Busan - then back.
http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=19506&l=1fde2&id=642731186
ps. I tried to be as fair as I could with the goods and bads. There are more bads (was aiming for 10), but they aren't as heavy as the goods. All told they about even eachother out. This is a fun place to spend a year or so...
posted by b.a. at 8:50 AM
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